So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
