and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
