Girls should come with a carfax report
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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