Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
