I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
