I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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