yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
