you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
