Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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