I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
