i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
