When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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