I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
