Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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