lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
