if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
