Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
