he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
