Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
