Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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