Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
