Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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