You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
