VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
