Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
