Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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