Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
