weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
