Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
