after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
