you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
