I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
