It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
