ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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