How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
All I want is dick and wine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
