Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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