Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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