just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
