Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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