pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
