well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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