There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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