Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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