my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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