Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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