found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
