and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
