my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
