im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
