I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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