Your dad touched me again.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
