Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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